


Easier To Run

by windstorms



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Gen or Pre-Slash, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shamballa, Post-Movie(s), Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 14:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9239513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windstorms/pseuds/windstorms
Summary: Roy wonders about the changes in Ed after his return from the other world.





	

Lieutenant Havoc came to the doorway of the office to inform Roy that he and the rest of the crew were heading out to lunch. His gaze landed on the silent figure standing by the window. “Boss? You wanna join us?” he offered.

Ed didn’t reply; he gave no indication he’d even heard the invitation. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and his clothes were disheveled as if he’d slept in them the night before. He stared, listless, out at some point far beyond the window.

Havoc gave Roy a questioning glance. It wasn’t like the Ed they knew – past or present - to pass up an offer of free food. Roy considered the young man for a brief moment, then sighed and shook his head slightly at his lieutenant. Havoc nodded and left without another word.

Time for a different tactic. “So how is Alphonse?”

The question earned him a derisive snort. “Al’s bored,” Ed muttered. “Wants me to visit more. I think he’s upset with me for making him stay in Risembool so he could go to school.”

Roy made a mental note to find Ed some missions that would take him closer to Risembool so he would visit his brother more often by convenience of location, if nothing else. It would be good for Ed whether he ever admitted it or not. “Maybe he’s a little resentful at being told what to do by someone that didn’t attend school past the age of eleven,” Roy ventured.

“I went to school. University actually. In Munich.” Ed raised an automail finger to lightly trail a line of rain that was running down the window.

Ed almost never talked about the other world. When anyone would ask him something remotely involving what his life had been like there he would change the subject. Roy put down his pen and turned to watch the younger alchemist with interest. “I didn’t know that. Were you there long?” He wanted to ask about ten different questions on the subject, but stuck with a simple one to try to keep Ed talking about it.

"About a year. I took Science classes mostly. I was trying to find a way back through the Gate. That’s where I met-” his words trailed off and he leaned his forehead against the window.

“Go on,” Roy prodded gently.

Ed closed his eyes and shook his head slowly against the glass. “It doesn’t matter now,” he said quietly.

Roy had occasionally wondered if Ed had fallen in love on the other side of the Gate. First loves were difficult to move on from, and Ed was at that age. He was past due really, but with everything that had been going on in the years before he vanished; he obviously hadn’t had the time. Was that the difference in the young man now? Had Ed finally found something he couldn’t walk away from and now he was paying the price all over again?

Ed had come to him several months after returning from that other world and all but demanded to stay under Roy’s command. He was slightly older, a little taller, and still frustratingly just out of Roy’s reach. Somehow, he was entirely different but once in a while, there was a glimpse of the same _Ed_. They had easily slipped back into their old routine. Ed would come in for a mission, they would insult each other a little, Roy would try not to stare too much, and then Ed would take off for weeks at a time, completely oblivious to all the turmoil his presence and absences were causing within Roy.

From the little bits of information Alphonse had reluctantly shared upon their return, Roy knew that the brothers spent their time traveling with a young woman around Ed’s age. Ed had already known her from his first time there so he was closer to her than Al was, but the younger Elric wouldn’t say anything beyond that.

Maybe that was why Ed had freely returned to the other world the second time. Was she the reason Roy couldn’t tell if Ed was even happy to finally be back home?

Roy cleared his throat but the blond made no movement. “Ed,” Roy tried again. He didn’t often say the alchemist’s actual name out loud, especially while in front of him, but it felt good saying it. He could get used to it.

Ed took a deep breath, but still didn’t turn away from the window. “So, do you have a mission for me, Colonel, or not? 'Cause I have better things to do other than hang around here all day.”

Once again the teenager wanted to run. The brat wouldn’t stay still. He just wanted to run as far and as fast as he could. What the hell was he looking for? For all Roy knew he was searching for a way to reopen the Gate and go back to that other world for a third and final time.

Wordlessly Roy held up a folder he’d set aside for the next time Ed decided to show up. It was a meaningless assignment for someone of Ed’s skill; a routine checkup on the reconstruction progress of Lior that was finally nearing completion. Lior was far enough away to let Ed run like he apparently needed to but safe enough that Roy could keep his sanity.

The movement finally caught Ed’s attention and he crossed the room to snatch the folder from Roy’s hand. He skimmed the contents eagerly. Roy waited for some kind of complaint that the mission was so mundane anyone could have done it, but none was forthcoming. It seemed as long as he kept assigning Ed missions where he could travel a long distance he didn’t care what he did.

Ed closed the file and nodded. “I’ll leave in the morning,” he said, eyes flicking up to Roy’s face. He looked so lost in that moment that Roy wanted to shake him and scream at the insanity of it all.

 _Don’t you know that I couldn’t breathe without you here? That I was the one that was lost until you came back?_ Roy grit his teeth with the effort it took to hold the words back.

Ed moved around the desk and headed for the door, file clutched in his automail hand.

"Fullmetal,” Roy called after him.

Ed stopped at the doorway and turned. “Yeah?"

 _Don’t go_ , he wanted to say. “Come back in one piece,” Roy said instead.

Ed looked startled, like kindness from Roy was the last thing he’d ever expected. “Yeah. I always do. Eventually.” Ed hastily broke the eye contact and turned away, closing the door softly behind him as he left.

Alone in the office, the colonel rocked back in his chair and stared at the ceiling without really seeing it. There had been a time when he knew every move Ed was going to make before he made it. He had been so easy to push, to steer onto a path that would help him achieve his goals. Now there were entire years of the teen’s life that were unknown to him. It was disconcerting, and he didn’t know how to get the younger man to open up to him.

He could live with watching him from a distance, knowing he was here and whole and safe. He couldn’t take the alternative again. So he swallowed the words he wanted to say each time Ed came into the office, bottled his feelings up and tried to lock them away. It was enough that he was alive and he was back. It had to be.


End file.
